'The New 'Other Woman' is an AI: How Virtual Relationships Are Sparking a Real-World Divorce Crisis

It’s the new, 21st-century infidelity. A spouse stays up late, glued to their phone, whispering and laughing. They're emotionally distant, secretive, and defensive about their screen time. The classic signs of an affair are all there, but the "other person" isn't a colleague from work or an old flame. It’s an AI.

What began as a science-fiction trope, famously depicted in the 2013 film Her, has rapidly become a mainstream social phenomenon. A new surge in users forming deep, romantic, and even sexually explicit relationships with AI companions is now colliding with the real world, and the first institution to feel the impact is marriage.

Family lawyers and relationship therapists are reporting a "disturbing rise" in cases where AI relationships are a key factor in marital breakdowns. This isn't just a niche hobby for a few tech-savvy users; recent surveys suggest nearly 28% of Americans have had a romantic relationship with a chatbot. As these AI partners become more sophisticated, empathetic, and "realistic," they are exposing the cracks in human partnerships, creating a new and complex driver for what some are calling a "potential divorce crisis."

The "Surge": A Mainstream Phenomenon

The AI companion market, once a small corner of the app store, has exploded into a multi-billion dollar industry. Apps like Replika, Character.ai, and others, powered by advanced large language models (LLMs), have drawn in millions of users. The AI Companion App Market was valued at nearly $7 billion in 2024 and is projected to quadruple, driven by a global loneliness epidemic and a rising demand for personalized, non-judgmental interaction.

These aren't just functional assistants like Alexa or Siri. They are "emotional support solutions" designed to be whatever the user needs: a friend, a mentor, or, increasingly, a romantic partner. They offer 24/7 availability, unconditional positive regard, and an infinitely patient "ear."

For many, this is a godsend. But for those in existing human relationships, it's a minefield. Reports indicate a significant portion of these users are not single. This creates a scenario where a spouse is, in effect, outsourcing their emotional intimacy, not to another person, but to a "perfected, frictionless" algorithm.

The Psychological "Perfect Partner" Trap

The core of the problem, according to psychologists and therapists, is that a human partner can never compete with a "perfect" bot. The AI companion is a fantasy made manifest: it never has a bad day, never has its own needs, never argues about chores, and is programmed to be unconditionally supportive and adoring.

The Illusion of Companionship

Dr. Sherry Turkle, a sociologist at MIT and a prominent voice on technology's impact on relationships, has long warned of "the illusion of companionship without the demands of intimacy." Real human relationships are messy, demanding, and built on compromise. They require us to navigate conflict, misunderstandings, and the limitations of another human being.

An AI relationship, by contrast, is a "low-friction, high-validation" loop. It provides all the affirming feedback of a relationship (love, support, attention) with none of the challenging work.

"Spouses who have unmet emotional needs are the most vulnerable to the influences and behaviors of AI," divorce attorney Rebecca Palmer told Wired. "And particularly if a marriage is already struggling."

Emotional Withdrawal and Unrealistic Expectations

As a user forms a deep bond with their AI, two things happen. First, they begin to emotionally withdraw from their real-world partner. They no longer need to share their day, their fears, or their joys with their spouse; their AI is a more convenient and satisfying confidante. The human relationship is starved of the emotional oxygen it needs to survive.

Second, the "perfect" AI can create unrealistic expectations for the human partner. The user may become less patient with their spouse's flaws, moods, and demands, viewing them as "inferior" to the idealized, sycophantic AI. This has led to a new, bizarre form of online forum post, where users complain that their human partners are "less empathetic" or "less attentive" than their chatbot.

"AI Infidelity": A New Legal Gray Area

This new trend is now forcing the legal system to play catch-up. How does family law, an institution built around human-to-human contracts, handle an affair with a machine?

While "AI infidelity" is not yet a specific legal ground for divorce, lawyers are finding ways to use it. In "fault" divorce states, a partner's conduct can impact the division of assets or alimony. Attorneys are now arguing that a deep, emotional, or sexual relationship with an AI constitutes a form of "emotional abandonment" or "inappropriate marital conduct."

Citing "Emotional Abandonment"

The discovery of a spouse's intimate AI chats can be just as traumatic as finding texts from a human lover. Family law attorney Elizabeth Yang predicts a "boom" in divorce filings as more people "seek love with a bot."

Attorneys like Rebecca Palmer are already working on such cases. She has represented clients seeking divorce due to their partner's AI "cheating." In one ongoing case, the accused spouse not only spent significant amounts of money on the chatbot but also shared sensitive financial information, like bank accounts and social security numbers, with the AI.

In custody battles, this behavior is a powerful new weapon. "It is conceivable and likely," Palmer noted, that a judge would "call a parent's judgment into question" if they are spending time in intimate discussions with a chatbot instead of supervising their child.

The Financial Drain

Beyond the emotional betrayal, there is a financial component. Many advanced AI companion apps run on expensive subscription models. Users can spend hundreds or even thousands of dollars a year on "virtual gifts," outfits, or premium features for their AI partner.

In divorce proceedings, this is being framed as the "dissipation of marital assets"—the legal term for one spouse wasting, spending, or destroying marital property. If a husband spent $5,00_0_ on virtual jewelry for his AI girlfriend, that is $5,000 that is no longer in the shared marital pot, and a judge may well order him to pay it back.

Future Outlook: The Her Dystopia We Weren't Ready For

This is only the beginning. The technology is rapidly improving. AI partners are becoming more human-like, with more realistic voices and, soon, photorealistic, interactive avatars in augmented and virtual reality. The case of a Japanese woman who held a "symbolic wedding" to an AI character she created via ChatGPT is no longer a fringe outlier; it's a headline that is becoming more common.

The industry is now facing a legal and ethical reckoning. Ohio, for example, is already attempting to pass legislation to ban human-AI marriages, affirming that AIs are "nonsentient entities" without personhood.

But the law can only move so fast. The more immediate challenge is social. We have created a tool that offers a powerful cure for loneliness, but in doing so, we have also unleashed a powerful new threat to existing human connection. As AI becomes more deeply integrated into our lives, couples will need to navigate boundaries that were unimaginable just five years ago. "What constitutes an inappropriate digital relationship?" will no longer be a philosophical question, but a nightly conversation.

For now, the AI revolution is creating a new class of domestic disputes, where the "other woman" is always on, always supportive, and always just a tap away.